Name change?

31 Aug

Since I’ve been engaged, the one recurring question I get is, “Are you going to change your name?” While it doesn’t bother me (people are curious and I am guilty of asking that question to other women as well) I do find it interesting that in this day and age that would even matter to any of us. For the record, I am not. It’s not because I don’t like Nick’s last name but because I already have a first and last name which I happen to like, simple as that. I won’t make a point to correct someone if they refer to me with his name socially once we are married, some habits are hard to break, but legally, I will  not change it.

I am marrying Nick because I love him, because we share similar goals and aspirations and because we want to build a life together. We are both individuals with our own names and I don’t see the need for me to change mine or him his. When I am asked that, I wonder to myself why men don’t get asked that same question. Although, I have asked some men if they would change theirs  and adopt the woman’s name, and the answer is typically a very loud and resounding, “NO!” The reason, “I’m the man.”  I might add, these are men who are progressive and in every other way, extremely open-minded. It’s baffling to me that in the 21st century, when things have changed in most aspects of people’s marriages, the attitude towards last names hasn’t.

Sure, it’s not very common for a man to adopt his wife’s name, but why not? Or why don’t people who argue that not taking your husband’s name shows disrespect and/or a lack of family unity, merge both the woman’s and man’s family names together? If the same last name is equal to family unity, wouldn’t it make more sense to merge both family names and make them  one? Plus, if the argument is that a woman shows disrespect to her husband by not taking his name, isn’t he being disrespectful to her by not taking hers?

I think every woman should do what she wants to do, in every aspect of her life, and that includes  keeping her family name, changing it, hyphenating her husband’s name or merging both names together. All choices are a personal decision and should be respected.

Did you change your name after marriage? If not married yet, would you?

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